Philiphobia is an episode of Newsroom.

Upload Date July 24th 2012
Hosts Jared, Lauren
Series Newsroom


Synopsis Edit

Lauren proudly states that she went on a date last night. Jared asks "With what?" He changes the subject. Lauren states that people want co-op in Dead Space to widen the audience because it is too scary. Lauren is glad because she finds those games to be scary.

Jared proclaims that Dead Space isn't scary at all. Lauren couldn't even get through the first few hours. Jared calls her the biggest wimp he's ever met. Jared wasn't scared of the necromorphs, because he shot off its arms and legs with a plasma cutter and laughed as it rolled around on the floor. Lauren states that the atmosphere is creepy, and Jared states that he stomps on the corpses to find money.

Lauren was afraid everytime something jumped out, and Jared replies that the player should learn that every time they see a ventilation shaft, something is going to jump out of it. Jared finds that predictability isn't scary, especially when it jumps out of a ventilation shaft at dick level.

There are many things more terrifying than Dead Space. Like babies! Jared tells Lauren that he is afraid of going home to an apartment full of loneliness and cheap wine. Lauren is shocked that he would say that. Jared is afraid of intimacy!